I hoping that at least someone out there in cyberspace is wondering where my posting on this blog has gone. Why have I gone so long without a post? Have I given up on the blog?
No, I’ve not given up, but I have put it to the side for a bit and I plan to continue with that for a bit longer. Why? Because I’m starting to get tired of food.
What? Does that sound crazy? Like something I would never say?
Look, I love to cook. For me it is creative, productive, and interesting. I love to dream up new recipes, try them out, fix things that don’t work, and most of all, enjoy the fruits of that labor.
Except, truth be told, as much as I love eating things that taste great, right now I seem to be more interested in painting my house, knocking down part of a wall in my dining room, and roaming the aisles at Lowes in search of insight on how to install my own wainscoting.
I feel a little bit like I’m awakening from a trance after a few years of a lot of struggles. Food, cooking, dreaming up recipes, gave me solace during those struggles; here was something concrete I could control and easily predict. I thought if I could control the ingredients in my food, no preservatives, no additives, no fillers, all organic, etc. it would create some virtue in the activity of eating what I wanted to.
But, the “formerly fat” part of my life (and blog title) was ever so slowly slipping away from me. Not that I got “fat” again, but my pants got tighter and tighter until, I confess, I had to buy new ones, one size up. Maybe that doesn’t seem like much, I’m still 4 sizes smaller than I once was… but those 15 pounds of “baby weight” weren’t budging except to become 20 pounds of “baby weight” that certainly weren’t from the baby who is now 4 years old!
Part of being “formerly fat” is pledging to myself that I will never be that again. Why? Not because I want to look like Giselle, but because, frankly, it wasn’t any fun. Healthy is more fun. It means taking walks, running after my kids on the beach, riding my bike to the library in the summer, and myriad other things I couldn’t do when I was “fat”.
So part of that pledge to myself to never let the scale slide up that much again means, sometimes, giving up things that I like. Like potato chips and chocolate chip cookies and this blog. Not forever, mind you, just for a while. Until my clarity has returned. Until I’m feeling healthy again. Until things are fun again.
In the meanwhile I’ll still be updating things on the Facebook page. This morning I tossed out a quick recipe for a lovely low fat, low calorie, filling, decadent, and healthy breakfast:
- 2 tbsp oat bran
- 1 cup skim milk
- Heat together in a pot or microwave until the oat bran has absorbed most of the milk.
- Add in 1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder & sweetener of your choice.
If you think I’m over-reacting, well, ok. But, this is about more than just me. Take a look at this preview for a HBO series on the obesity epidemic in this country. I decided a long time ago that wasn’t going to be me.
It won’t be. And when I’m feeling more secure about that, I’ll be back.